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Ugh. About an hour ago I thought, Hey, I should write something for my blog! It’s been ages. Had positive thoughts of ranting about racing and riding and things generally looking up. Then . . . the impersonal automated phone call from my bank. It says it is calling about one of my credit cards and asks me to confirm that I am __________. The freaky thing is the blank was my full name.

I’ve decided I don’t trust any automated calls claiming to be calling about bank accounts or anything important, so I hang up instead of pressing 1 like it wants me to. That would confirm that I am __________. Maybe I should have pressed 2, the other option. I wonder if the robot voice would have apologized for wasting my time or if it’s just another way for them to hook more people. Maybe it would transfer me to a 1-900 line. At least then they could try to make some money off me.

I looked up the bank’s phone number and call back, key in the information it asks for to identify me, and then get connected with a live person. At first I am wary because there is a lot of static on the line and the person sounds far, far away. Was that the plan? I would call the number back and the bastards trying to steal from me would intercept the call and get me anyway? I think he said his name was Joe. I told him I couldn’t hear him, and suddenly it got a lot better and he was standing next to me, although it sounded like Joe lives in India.

Joe explained my account was past due and wanted me to make a payment over the phone. Fuck . . . collections. I worked as a credit card collector for about 6 weeks once. I knew exactly what he wanted and what the steps were if you can’t do option #1. I tried to be reasonable and explain my situation, but Joe didn’t really care and his script didn’t have anything in it that would allow him to be personable or understand that I’m not someone who misses paying my credit card or tries to worm out of things. I was patient. Rather than hanging up I tried to explain my reasoning, but Joe wasn’t having any of it. He doggedly pursued me using the same methods I had once tried on others. I always knew it was a soul-sucking job and got out when I could.

I finally had to let Joe go. Hopefully he has a nice day. I won’t be answering calls from numbers I don’t recognize for a while.